Archive for the 'Life' Category

The aftermath

October 22nd, 2017

Thanks for the comments and support in my last entry <3 I wrote that a couple months ago and have been sitting on it since. Every time I thought about posting it, I made an excuse to post something else instead. On the 15th, I found myself hovering over the Publish button again, and then I learned it was Pregnancy and Infancy Loss Remembrance day. It seemed like a sign that I should just do it.

I hope my story does shed some light on the difficulties that some people may face when conceiving or while pregnant. In talking with a few others who had issues, we agreed on this: no one told us how hard it could be.

I mean, it makes sense because it’s a personal topic that people don’t widely share. When it comes to offline life, I only shared it with a few more people after the miscarriage happened, so it’s still somewhat of a secret. It’s comforting to talk about it with others who had issues, but with people who haven’t, it’s harder. Of course, it’s not specific to this situation. In general, people who can’t relate might not know what to say or might say something insensitive unintentionally. I don’t fault them for that at all. Before this happened, I wouldn’t know what to say either other than offering my sympathies.

But, in talking with others, I learned of other issues people have had. Some were conceiving issues, like taking 1-2 years and needing help. Some were miscarriages. Some were complications while giving birth. It made me feel… less lonely? It sucks ass that these things happen to us, and I wish it never happened to any of us, but it made me realize I’m not the only one privately dealing with these issues. It’s more common than it seems.

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Reflection on a loss

October 15th, 2017

I had a miscarriage.

I questioned whether I wanted to write about it because most people didn’t know I was pregnant to begin with, and well, this is a dark subject. I feel like I need to write this out though, and I also wanted to give a glimpse behind it. We focus on the positives of pregnancies, but other things happen that are often left unspoken. (If you were wondering, this was indeed the bad news I was dealing with back in July. I’m fully aware that this is a public post that anyone can view or share, but I would still prefer if this wasn’t shared.)

At around 8 weeks pregnant, my husband and I had only told our parents and a few close family and friends. I was careful not to tell anyone else, and I asked those who I confided in to keep it a secret as well. I knew that it was safer to wait until the second trimester in case a miscarriage happened. 10-25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, and unfortunately, I fell into that percentage.

At 6 weeks, we had done an early ultrasound, and there was already a heartbeat. It was weird seeing a tiny dot beating like that. At that point, it didn’t resemble anything yet. It was just a dot. At 10 weeks, we were expecting to see a fetus, and well… what we saw was a dot again, slightly larger, except no longer beating.

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Recap: September 2017

September 30th, 2017

September was a pretty eventful month for me – most of which I expected, but there were also surprises. First, I took a day trip to San Japan, an Anime convention in San Antonio! It’s fairly close to Austin, so I just drive there and back in one day. I almost didn’t make it because there was a gas shortage caused by people freaking out and buying a ton of gas after hearing rumors that there was a gas shortage from Hurricane Harvey. (There wasn’t one originally.) Yeah, it’s as dumb as it sounds.

Fortunately, I was able to make it and meet up with the cosplayers I was photographing. Here’s a preview from each shoot! (Partial sets are uploaded to Facebook and Flickr.)

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